Chronic of Wilson Humpsalot Satterlee

Today Wilson got off to a great start. He had slept in his little bed all night warm and snug. He went out to pee and was offered food and pills (what dog doesn't like pills?). He quickly gobbled up his pills and even caught a few.
Then W. H. S. went out to play a bit with the ladies and did some sunbathing.
THEN W. H. S. got to go to two yes TWO (2) parks. He rode in the truck and at times in my lap.
Once he got back home he hung out for a while then went outside again and tore up this stuffy that had been pissing him off for a few days now. Once the stuffy was sufficiently torn up and all of its insides were covering the yard like leaves in the fall Wilson moved on.
Wilson played fetch several times today. He has also made friends with the squeaky pig and has not torn it up yet cuz it hasn't pissed him off yet.
Wilson is now tired-ish. But of course he is game if you have a game.
Tomorrow I will be leaving at 8pm for my job. What will W. H. S. think of this? I personally don't think he's gonna like it. Maybe he will tear up one of those bitches he's been hanging with. Hopefully not.
Wilson doesn't care much for the bitches. He likes to hump them and that's about it.

Title

OK so the last three days I have not been able to wake up for work. I get to work on time (or within three minutes of that which with some could be up to 10 or more minutes late but for me that is only up to 5). Perhaps I just don't want to work here, yes?

There are people walking all over the place today. You'd think the Olympics were here or something. Where the hell are all these peeps going? According to Lita there are sales EVERYWHERE. Especially K Mart.
The K Mart here is totally nuts and unlike any K Mart you have ever seen. I should be spending more time there. If you visit Kalispell you should definitely take the time to visit the special KalK Mart.
I don't know how I am going to work here for an entire week! I can't stand it as it is. AND...
How am I going to do this in another location for another hotel? How I ask you??
I am sick of this place. I would like to just not work this summer and go out and explore Montana but that is unrealistic so instead I will work at a hotel and listen to stories of bear sightings and mountain goat attacks from behind the very tall desk. I will be wearing a vest.
An ugly pinstripe vest. I'll do my best.. My job with zest.
I hate uniforms. I hate them. I really don't hate much but I hate wearing a uniform. It pisses me off. That alone might cut my career short at Hamptown. If you have to wear a uniform, why can't it be a totally wild and retarded uniform? Why don't they just pass out rainbow suspenders? A hat would be a nice touch.
I met puppy humpsalot the other day. One of my whore dogs seemed to like his advances. He is one horny little bastard. I wonder how much sex those bitches will be having while I'm at work? I must devise a plan...an anti sex plan.
It is nap time again. Seriously. Where are all these people going?

Meowser

OK FYI I don't know Patrick Swayze, Wayne Newton or William Shatner. I have not smoked pot with Willie either. Sorry kids.

By kids I mean Erin since she is the only person other than Ali who might read my blog. Ali already knows these things as she is the one who made all the stories up.

Wow wouldn't that be great if I assembled newspapers for a living? Yes. er

OK just a few questions Preguntas?

Is dropping a banana peel out the window littering? Wouldn't it be better to drop it out the window than to put it in a plastic bag and then a landfill? I don't think it should be littering. I think it should be "restoring". Yes. Restoring the soil. Restoring the pavement.

When is Patrick Swayze going to make a comeback?


When will the politicians pick up on my jive and stop lying and just play thumb war instead? Why can't the have a dance off? People would be so much more into that. Then....they wouldn't have to lie. We could just hate them for what they actually do. Not what they say. I think our elections should be based on: thumb war, dance skills and rhyming. Oh also who has the best pets.

weakly dose

Ok I still can't remember my password....when I want to.

Should I bother writing this glog since Ali is the only one who reads it?

I just finished chewing my Mega-T Green Tea chewing gum for the "prescribed" 15 minutes. RoRo was talking about her green tea yesterday and how it made her hyper and energetic. I am hoping it will make me indecisive like her and I will repeat myself more and I will repeat myself more.

The Canadian judges wife is more strange than he. I know he likes the hooch but I think she likes something a bit stronger than hooch. It is 10 till 10:00 AM and she wants to know when she can start gambling. She thanked me my for my efforts on the Ode to a Dog article..and my ability to produce it. She is going to enlarge it, frame it, and give it to a friend. She is so sweet.

I am not even going to attempt to be as witty as the young, poetic braniacs that are so abundant these days.

What is with the kids? Seriously.

Sarah Silverman.

I wonder if she would like the cartoons I drew in high school. They were all about Rosanna Lane. A nice little Jewish girl who followed and plagued myself and countless others through the North East school system for way too many years. Ahh Rosie. What is it like to be Jewish now? I wonder if it is better now than it was then. I wonder if Rosie knows I took drivers ed. at the JCC? I wonder if Sarah Silverman hung out at the JCC. Nothing wrong with the JCC or Jewish girls just Rosie...and Sarah
Yes, she is funny. That's about it. Is she the funniest bitch out there? HELLS NO. GAWD.
And yes, it is a competition. Everything is.

I totally agree The L Word is sucking BIG TIMES. OMG it was so lame last week I couldn't bear to watch any more. Max just needs to stop. Just cease. That would help quite a bit but it would still suck even without Max(ine).

Of course Dr. Justin Mauzey was already totally aware of Space Ship One and how it happened almost four years ago. I couldn't really tell how he felt about "Justin" but I really don't care because I love it. Justin disappointed me today. We talked about Japanese and Cantonese and Chinese and I was a little bored. I wanted to talk more about science and instead we talked about Mandarin oranges?

OK. Mary Kay ladies

Why are these ladies so aggressive? Is there really a need for them anymore? Are there any Mary Kay ladies out there actually making a living off of their Mary Kay sales and "clinics"?
I have not seen many pink Cadillacs in the past few years. Why is that?
Why do Mary Kay ladies always come up to me? Do they think I need makeup? Is that what those bitches are trying to say? If I do I can just buy it at the dollar store. I don't need to make a big Mary Kay production out of it. Sometimes rubbing dirt on your face works too.

Super Password

Don't you just love passwords? How the hell am I supposed to remember all of them? You can't use the same one over and over....that would be dangerous. So if you are like me you type in any possible combination you THINK might be your password until "SUCCESS".

Ali Satterlee is such a trendsetter. She has cool hair and I think she goes to lots of theme parties. Isn't that what Oprah does? Also Nae Nae loves her very much.

uh

What the hell is the dashboard? I got one of them in my truck I think. Yes I drive a truck. I don't know what the hell I am doing blogididogin and no one is reading my blog anyway because it is unpublished AND written in invisible ink all at the same time. Today was great becuz all the horse shit is melting and it smells super fresh! I saw the first signs of spring...FLIES.

oh ma gorsh

ok i totally did not want to start my own blog but now that i have my blog is going to kick ali's blog's asz. thank you. today i was running errands but they were cut short by a super sudden urge to pee.